Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others and for managing ourselves and our relationships with others. It describes abilities that are distinct from but complimentary to academic intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is a tool that can enhance your coaching and mentoring both for yourself and for your clients. It can lead to a better understanding of yourself and improved relationships.

Emotional intelligence is made up of personal competencies that determine how we manage ourselves and social competencies that determine how we handle relationships. The elements of emotional intelligence are detailed below:

Personal Competence

Self-awareness. This is about knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources and limitations. Elements of self-awareness are:
- Emotional self-awareness: reading one's own emotions and recognising their impact and using gut feel to guide decisions.
- Accurate self-assessment: knowing one's own strengths and limitations.
- Self-confidence: a sound sense of one's self-worth and capabilities.

Self-management. This is about managing one's internal states, preferences, resources and impulses. Elements of self-management are:
- Emotional self-control: keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check.
- Transparency: displaying honesty, integrity and trustworthiness.
- Adaptability: flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles.
- Achievement: the drive to improve performance to meet inner standards of excellence.
- Initiative: readiness to act and seize opportunities.
- Optimism: seeing the positive in circumstances.

Social Competence

Social awareness. This is about the awareness of others' feelings, needs and concerns. Elements of social awareness are:
- Empathy: sensing others' emotions, understanding their perspective and taking an active interest in their concerns.
- Organisational awareness: understanding of what is happening at an organisation level.
- Service: recognising and meeting customer and others' needs.

Social skills. This is about adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others. Elements of social skills are:
- Inspirational leadership: guiding and motivating with a compelling vision.
- Influence: using a range of tactics of persuasion.
- Developing others: building others' abilities through feedback and guidance.
- Being a change catalyst: initiating, managing and leading others in a new direction.
- Conflict management: negotiating and resolving conflicts.
- Building relationships: cultivating and maintaining relationships.
- Teamwork and collaboration: working with others and building teams.

To improve your coaching and mentoring have a look at the elements that make up emotional intelligence described above and assess yourself against them. You can then identify areas where you would like to improve and the steps that you need to take to get to where you want to be.

You may also want to include the elements that make up emotional intelligence in your learning log so you can use them to review your coaching and mentoring sessions.

If you would like supervision for your coaching or mentoring please refer to the Makin It Happen – Supervision & Support for Coaches & Mentors website at http://coachmentorsupervision.co.uk or contact Liz Makin at Liz@makinithappen.co.uk.

This article first appeared in the November 2007 edition of the Makin It Happen – Supervision & Support for Coaches & Mentors newsletter. Please click here to Sign up for our email newsletter.